The other day I was talking to a friend of mine about her son and asked how he is doing in school. She sadly told me that he was actually having some trouble with the other kids. They weren’t causing any harm to the boy, but the problem was stemming from how he felt being around them. “Why?” I asked. It turns out he feels as if he is the “poorest” of all his friends. He doesn’t have the $100 sneakers or the clothes some of his friends are wearing. This boy actually comes from a financially comfortable family, yet, feels as if he has to wear certain brands to fit in and not be the “poorest.” As parents, we all want to try to give our children everything they want to make them feel as if they are fitting in. However, we also have a responsibility not to spoil our children and to teach them what it means to be humble. Children shouldn’t go around bragging about what they have, but learn to be sympathetic that others may not have the same things for whatever the reason.
My advice to my friend was to talk to her son and explain that just because he doesn’t have the most expensive sneakers doesn’t mean he is the poorest, but rather that he is developing a sense of financial responsibility and maturity. His mom is actually doing him a favor. She is providing him with more than satisfactory belongings and teaching him that yes, there are more expensive things out there, but we shouldn’t always feel as if we must have those items. Learn to appreciate the finer things and learn how to work for them rather than always having them handed over to you. Easier said than done, but worth considering.
I was quite proud of my son a few months ago when we went sneaker shopping. While he was searching the store for that perfect pair, he wasn’t just looking at the style, but picked up each pair and looked at the price. He realized which sneakers were pricey and which seemed reasonable. Each time he picked up a pair and peaked at the price he asked me if that price was ok. And, if I told him it was too much, he simply put them back. Very proud.
Let our kids be kids. If they have everything they want now, what will they have to look forward to as they grow up?
And, teach those children who may have more than others to be respectful, humble and sensitive to the fact that other children may not have what they already have.
My friend’s son is certainly not the poorest, but rather the richest when it comes to being a down to earth kid. Take your time, kid! There’s a long road ahead of you to eventually run in those $100 pair of sneakers. Enjoy the journey!
